After the 'miss of the century', it may be time to rethink 'Peak A-League'
New Year’s Eve, 2018. The Central Coast Mariners play host to Perth Glory in Gosford. Tomislav Mrcela scores a goal which is disallowed for offside, crashing into the woodwork and snapping the goalpost in the process.
The match is paused for half an hour as replacement goals are sought. A portable set, complete with wheels, is found, with a second set having to be installed at the other end to ensure both goals are the same. Because of the delay, the planned 9pm fireworks display goes off midway through the second half as the Glory romp to a 4-1 win. Meanwhile, a child in the stands is filmed brandishing a replica machine gun, because why not?
Former Mariners striker Daniel McBreen, working as an analyst for Fox Sports, is caught on a hot mic summing up the situation: “Can I say it’s representative of the Mariners these days? F---ing dogshit.”
Long fascinated by the concept of ‘Peak A-League’, scientists thought the pinnacle had finally been reached that day. But suddenly, compelling new evidence has emerged to challenge their findings. We may have a new peak.
An awful lot happened on Saturday, but the undeniable crescendo was Patrick Wood’s astonishing miss for Sydney FC. Leading 3-0 against the Mariners in the evening match, Wood won the ball on the edge of the six-yard box after pressuring goalkeeper Danny Vukovic as he received a dodgy backpass from a teammate.
It was terrific work by the 21-year-old to sniff out the chance and find himself in what we might call the “grandmother zone” – a position from which even your nan would be hitting the back of the net, no questions asked.
Patrick Wood had a Saturday night to forget.Credit: Getty
Wood took another touch, bringing him to within roughly two metres of the target, but then instead of poking it in with his non-preferred left foot, he used his right and swept it wide of the post.
Commentator Robbie Thompson’s voice on Network 10 reached the sort of high pitch only reserved for actual goals. His co-commentator happened to be McBreen, and they happened to be in Gosford again. “As they say on social media, ‘Peak A-League’,” McBreen quipped, referring to the phrase that many fans of the embattled competition use as a shield to pre-empt criticism, casting its occasional lack of quality as part of its charm.
By Sunday morning, Wood’s failure had been picked up by dozens of football content aggregators and reached millions of eyeballs across the world. “MISS OF THE CENTURY CONTENDER,” popular US podcast Men in Blazers called it. Graham Arnold, just returned from an Asian Cup that once again exposed the Socceroos’ lack of striking options, must have let out an enormous sigh.
Yet it wasn’t even the craziest thing to happen on Saturday.
Two earlier matches were postponed for ludicrous reasons. In the A-League Women, Sydney FC’s match against Melbourne City was delayed by half an hour because their team bus went to the wrong venue.
In the A-League Men, Wellington Phoenix’s clash with Western United was pushed back by 15 minutes due to what were officially described as “unforeseen circumstances.” United had brought the wrong kit with them from Melbourne, forcing the Phoenix’s kit man to leave the stadium and drive half an hour to the club’s headquarters to grab an alternative uniform.
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The APL says it is investigating. “We’ve made a mistake, obviously,” said coach John Aloisi, whose side is anchored to the bottom of the table, eight points adrift of their nearest rivals. “Not sure what happened there.”
On the field, Melbourne Victory’s undefeated run finally ended with a 1-0 defeat at home to Macarthur FC, while Brisbane Roar engineered one of the biggest turnarounds in Australian domestic league history.
Having been smashed 8-1 by Melbourne City just after Christmas, they returned fire with a stunning 5-1 victory – four goals coming in the first half and the fifth in the first minute of the second half. Like Wood’s miss, nobody saw it coming.
For all of its flaws, the A-League remains incredibly entertaining.
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