I'm thinking of and sending my best wishes to all of you parents with children in elementary school in this district who may still be waiting to learn who their teachers will be for the year...
This September has been exceptionally difficult for many families — my own included — and I can't help but think there has got to be a better way.
I remember as a grammar school student myself, walking to school on the first day, all decked out in my new clothes with my new school supplies and walking to the front of the school, reading a list taped to the wall to find out who I'd be spending the year with and going directly to that classroom. No easing into it, no meeting all of the potential options over an extended period of time, just day one, done.
I'm sure the education system is much more complex now compared to back then but I have to believe there's a solution to dragging out class placements for nearly the entire month. From what I understand it's not the district itself but some type of provincial red tape but I'm over it. I bet you are, too. I'm hopeful that by the time you read this, your children will have had their teachers assigned, their classes set and begun to settle in.
I do want to tell you that it's totally coincidental that I wrote that little prelude to my column about unsettled kids ahead of this next part, where I'm going to write about getting away from them.
I love my children and I spend a ton of time with them. My husband was giving me the gears the other day, though, that I quite literally never leave the house after dinner unless I need to run to the store, which is very rare. I'm either very old (I did just have a birthday last week), or am just a mother of young children that also happens to have a 'real' job and run a household... either way you explained it — I'm tired. All the time. When the kids go to bed I want to wind down too. Going out seems really exhausting.
Even so, I know he's got a point. For the better part of 10 years I've been the one at home on nights and weekends because my husband worked a lot at those times. Naturally I didn't complain. I rested, he went out into the world and was social and got his work done and it just worked for us. Things change though.
Now his job is effectively nine to five, Monday to Friday and he has a once-a-month board meeting for sports and that's pretty much it. Occasionally he'll go for a beer with a friend. The other night he mentioned once again about me going out after dinner. I knew he had a point. He was home. He was willing to fulfill his role as a dad. He wasn't offering to babysit — he was reminding me the kids had two parents and he can hold down the fort. A lot of life happens after 6 p.m. and I was missing my opportunity. He was right and I knew it.
But what could I do? Where could I go? Who could I go and do whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing with? I texted a friend who also has young kids. It turned out my dilemma was also hers. OK, so we've agreed to go out more regularly. But where? To do what?
Sure we can go eat dessert, we agreed. The Doghouse has a pretty good dessert menu we can eat our way through. We want more than that, though. We thought of going to the sauna at the pool and just chatting while we dripped with sweat — kind of the opposite of dessert, we figured. But the pool is closed.
We came up with another idea and if we can swing it, it'll happen just after you read this so you'll have to wait and see what we did.
It got me thinking though, if you had a few of childless hours with a friend after dinner once every week or two, what would you do? Where would you go? Would you try new things?
Is this our chance to break free from our Working Mom titles and put ourselves back out there and into the world to see what else we can do? I haven't asked my friend yet, but I'm wondering if we shouldn't just go try a bunch of new things — even the things that make us uncomfortable — I don't know, like Zumba or a drum circle or something. Not so much to find a new hobby, but to return to that feeling of being more than just Mom.
Let me know if you have any suggestions, opinions or invitations!
